Do you ever find yourself wondering why a certain person was brought into your life? Maybe you're wondering how you got so lucky to meet this person and what you did to deserve such a blessing; maybe you're picking up the pieces of a shattered affair and cursing the day you met this person? (Maybe you're (correctly) assuming that I'm overtired, undercaffienated, and procrastinating at work?)
I've had my share of love and loss over the course of my life, and it seems like I always figure out what lesson(s) I've learned from each person who comes in and out of my life. I've been mulling over my relationship status lately, and in the course of wondering why certain situations worked out better than others, why some never got off the ground, etc. etc. etc., I've realized that my love life has had a discernable impact on my culinary activities and philosophies. Let me explain:
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I dated a guy who told me that I can't cook. Interestingly, I had never cooked for him! Therefore, he was not qualified to judge. However, his asinine comment added some serious fuel to my fire and made me want to learn how to cook like a rock star for the sole purpose of proving him wrong.
I once dated a guy who thought he was fat, so he would order side salads at restaurants and watch with envy as I gnawed on a rack of ribs. That's when I started to realize that I could never be serious about someone whose vanity trumped his love of food.
Once, I spent a day and a half cooking a meal for a guy who called me at the last minute to tell me he got called into work and couldn't make it. I later learned that his "job" had bottle blonde hair and quite obvious fake breasts. That's when I learned that when you're cooking for a guy you're dating, make sure you cook something that keeps well.
Once, I spent an entire first date with a guy talking about food, dive bars, and good restaurants. A few dates later, I decided to cook dinner for him. Remembering the aforementioned incident, I was hesitant to prepare anything in advance, so I planned something quick and easy. I made halftime steaks (click here for my recipe), roasted potatoes, and a salad with fennel, orange, arugula, and crumbled gorgonzola in a balsamic vinaigrette. He was quite impressed. That's when I learned that knowing how to cook a proper steak is an ace that every single girl should have up her sleeve.
A while back, I met a guy who was as much into eating and drinking as I am. We started spending a lot of time together, cooked together a few times, we had a ton of common interests and philosophies...I was crazy about the kid, and I really thought it would turn into something rock solid. It didn't. However, I ended up with a few amazing recipes, a solid appreciation for bourbon, and a world of inspiration both in and out of the kitchen, and that's when I learned that I will never fall for someone who doesn't inspire me.
Last but not least, I'll offer this fact: I know it's more than a fling when I smile like a dufus over the thought of cooking dinner for someone every day. I've never been great at showing my feelings, and often people question how much I care. Know this - if I feed you, I like you. That goes not only for romantic relationships, but for friends, family, etc. It occured to me that I express my feelings in the kitchen and at the table. Whether I'm slowly stirring risotto while singing along with sad songs, furiously chopping habaneros while listening to Rage Against The Machine, providing a sounding board to a friend over drinks and apps, treating my mom to breakfast when I visit her, or baking canine crumpets for all the shelter dogs who desperately need some love and TLC, cooking is my preferred emotional outlet and dining is my favorite bonding mechanism.
I'm never quite brave enough to explicitly say "I love you." I don't tell my friends often enough that my life would be crap without them. I don't thank my mom nearly enough for putting up with my bullshit for the last 29 years, and the animals at the shelter don't have the capacity to understand that their barks and meows fill the holes in my heart. Looks like I've got a LOOOTTTTTTT of cooking to do...
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