Salad - A Love Story

Poor salad.  It gets such a bad rap.  Long thought of as "chick food," mass media and advertising perpetuate the myth that salads are never eaten because they're tasty and satisfying, but because the eater is demonstrating his or her weight control efforts and trying to be "good" that day. 

I'm head over heels in love with salad, but I keep our relationship on the down low.  I rarely order salads in restaurants for the totally lame reason that I'm very thin and don't want to be judged and thought of as *that* girl - you know, the fat-free dressing on the side, ice water with lemon, cut off a pinkie before taking a bite of a bacon cheeseburger, "do I look fat?" type...I digress.  I know that I shouldn't let other people's nosy judgments affect my meal choices, but I do.  So I make my salads at home, and I make them taste awesome! 

My favorite salad recipe is loaded with greens ranging from mild and buttery to hearty and bitter, and it features flavor-packed anchovies, ripe tomatoes, hard-cooked egg, crunchy omega-3 loaded toasted flax seeds, distinctive seasonings like pink peppercorns and lavender flowers, all topped off with peppery olive oil and a squeeze of tart lemon juice.  I don't use a salad bowl; I eat from a Corelle 2-quart serving bowl.  I like to eat my industrial-sized salads with homemade garlic bread, charcuterie, and wine.  Put it this way - I can turn "rabbit food" into gluttony.  I know that people who belong to the Church of Our Savior Calorie Counting will probably shake their heads and immediately write me off as a lunatic when they see that I'm serving a salad alongside slices of fatty pork sausage and a carb dish that uses 1/2 cup of butter, but guess what?  Some people eat salad not because they have an irrational phobia of calories, but simply because - GASP - it tastes good! 

The key to a meal this simple is to use the best possible products you can buy.  Don't use bottled salad dressing - all that's needed to dress a salad is a good extra-virgin olive oil and a lemon.  Don't buy a salami or summer sausage that's loaded with more chemicals than meat (I like Creminelli Salami Tartufo, a spicy pork sausage dotted with bits of black truffle).  Why anyone buys that nitrate-loaded mall kiosk shit is beyond me - once you find a good brand and a seasoning style that you like, you'll never eat that salted & petrified dog food again.  And please don't desecrate my garlic bread recipe by using something that's been on a truck or a shelf for five days; buy a baguette from a local bakery that bakes its goodies on the premises.  As for butter, it is worth it to seek out European-style butters, which have a higher butterfat percentage than American brands.  And for Pete's sake, banish from your brain the thought that eating salad is a merely a means to an end. 


My All-Time Favorite Dinner Salad

2 cups oak leaf lettuce, torn into bite-sized pieces
1 cup chicory or dandelion greens, torn into bite-sized pieces
handful baby arugula
3 anchovy fillets, minced
1 hard-cooked egg, chopped
1 T. finely minced onion
1 T. capers, rinsed
a few black olives, sliced
3 cherry tomatoes, quartered
generous splash olive oil
salt & pepper
pinch pink peppercorns
sprinkle of Herbes de Provence
sprinkle of lavender flowers*
sprinkle of toasted flax seeds
sprinkle of toasted pignoli
squeeze of fresh lemon

In a large salad bowl, combine the lettuce, chicory or dandelion, arugula, anchovy, egg, onion, capers, olives, and tomatoes.  Splash the olive oil directly into the bowl, then add the salt, pepper, pink peppercorns, Herbes de Provence, toasted flax seeds, and toasted pignoli.  Toss well until all the lettuce leaves are coated with oil.  Squeeze in the fresh lemon juice, toss again, and serve with garlic bread, sliced salami, and a crisp white wine, such as Pinot Grigio.

Garlic Bread

1/2 cup European-style butter, softened to room temperature
2 cloves garlic, pressed or sliced paper-thin
1 T. peppery olive oil
1 small baguette, sliced on the diagonal

In a small bowl, combine the butter, garlic and olive oil.  In the meantime, heat your broiler and toast the baguette slices for 1-2 minutes on each side, until they are golden but not burnt. 

Spread each toasted baguette slice with the garlic/butter/oil mixture, then place in the broiler with the oven door open for another 15-20 seconds or so, or until the butter mix has completely melted and seeped into the bread.  Serve on a plate with 1/4" thick slices of salami. 

* Make sure you are using lavender flowers intended for consumption rather than potpourri - non-edible flowers are often loaded with chemicals and preservatives