OMG!!! I Baked a Cake!!!

Holy $#!t.  Last night, before having my heart broken by the Detroit Red Wings, I baked a cake.  Not only did I bake a cake, I baked a cake without a recipe and without firemen showing up.  Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.  Do you see that weather report?!?!? 

The first time I baked a cake, I was 19 years old and a freshman in college.  Broke as a joke, I couldn't afford to buy my mom anything nice for her birthday, so I decided that a homemade treat would be the best way to show her how much I care.  I whipped out her copy of "The Joy of Cooking," sifted through the recipes, and found one for which I had all the ingredients. 

I stirred, mixed, preheated, and did everything I was supposed to do.  I was going to make the best damn cake my mom ever tasted!  ...or so I thought.  The two layers didn't pop out of the pans like they were supposed to; half the cake stuck to the pan, leaving me with two concave half-cakes and a handful of crumbs.  Not to worry - frosting hides all sins.  Using crumbs like mosaic tiles and my homemade frosting as my grout, and I spackled and painted until the cake looked like it belonged on the cover of Martha Stewart magazine.  Then, using tubes of colored icing, I wrote the words "Happy Birthday, Mom!" in gorgeous edible calligraphy.  "I ROCK!" I thought to myself while I waited for her to get home from work. 

When my mom came home, she was certainly surprised - after all, at that point in life I had never used an oven unsupervised.  But the real surprise came when she took her first bite.  Anxious with enthusiastic anticipation, I watched her put the first forkful into her mouth.  Did she like it?

"Well honey, it's the thought that counts!"

What?!?  I didn't know whether to scream, laugh, or cry!  I tasted the cake to see how my beautiful creation could have been anything less than breathtaking.

UGH!  THE FROSTING TASTED LIKE SUGARY OCEAN WATER!  Yup, I must have somehow misread the recipe, because it tasted like I'd added about 1/4 cup of salt.  Calling it heinous would have been the understatement of the century, but my mom was right - it was the thought that counted, and to this day, we still laugh about my hilarious foray into the world of baking, and the gift of laughter was better than anything I could have purchased.      



Funny as the salt cake incident may be, I haven't exactly had much confidence in my baking abilities since.  I can do focaccia, and I've baked a few batches of cookies and dog biscuits, but cake?  Nah.  Besides, I'm not really a dessert person.  So what inspired me to bake a cake last night?

I have no idea.  Just a craving, I guess.  I wanted a light cheesecake that I could top with cooked, buttered apples. 

The Italians are pros at baking light, fluffy cheesecake-like dessert using ricotta instead of cream cheese.  In fact, I made one of these before.  It was supposed to have an almond crust, but since my crust stuck to my counter and the empty wine bottle I was using as a rolling pin, it ended up being more pudding than pie.  The filling turned out fine and tasted delicious, but crust?  Never again.  I avoid recipes that require me to bake a crust.  However, I hypothesized that I could cheat my way through crust by lining the bottom of a pie pan with crumbled cookies, pouring in the filling, and then topping it with more crumbled cookie crumbs. 

Grating nutmeg.

Turns out I was right!  I tested my hypothesis and ended up with a splendid cake, which I then topped with apples that I'd cooked briefly in nutmeg brown butter laced with a bit of sherry.  I've gotta bake this one for my mom - sure, it's the thought that counts, but it's the flavor that makes you want to go back for seconds!

Please note that there is no sugar in this recipe.  Feel free to add 1/4 c. sugar to the filling if you prefer a sweet cake.  Also, you can use ground nutmeg if you don't want to grate your own, but ground nutmeg is the culinary equivalent of Van Halen with Sammy Hagar instead of David Lee Roth - it just doesn't compare! 

Ricotta Cheesecake

12 Stella D'oro Margherites (or similar cookie)

15 oz. ricotta, liquid drained off

2 eggs

1/4 c. whipping cream

1 t. freshly grated nutmeg

Preheat the oven to 375.  In the meantime, use your hands to crumble 6 of the Stella D'oros, and use the crumbs to line a 9-inch cake pan with removable sides. 

Next, combine the ricotta, eggs, whipping cream, and nutmeg in a large mixing bowl.  Again, use your hands and crumble two of the Stella D'oros into the bowl.  Using an electric beater, beat the ingredients for about 2-3 minutes, or until the mixture is light and fluffy. 

Pour the ricotta mix into the cake pan.  Using a spatula, smooth the filling on top.  Now, crumble the remaining cookies and spread the crumbs evenly over the filling.  Place in the middle rack of your oven and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until the filling is set.  Let cool for at least 30 minutes, then serve with Apples in Nutmeg Brown Butter.

Apples in Nutmeg Brown Butter

2 Golden Delicious apples, finely diced

1/2 stick butter

1 t. freshly grated nutmeg

2 T. sherry



Melt the butter in a large, heavy-bottomed frying pan over medium-low heat.  Cook until the butter begins to froth and give off a rich fragrance.  Now, add the nutmeg and stir to incorporate. 

Add the apples to the pan, increase the heat to medium, and stir for about 2-3 minutes until all the apples are coated with the nutmeg butter.  Add the sherry.  Continue to cook, stirring frequently, for about 5 more minutes, or until the apples have softened a bit. 

Use as a topping for ricotta cheesecake.  This would also make a good condiment to serve alongside slices of roasted pork tenderloin.